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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?