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Late-night television hosts this week criticized the demolition of the East Wing of the White House and the corporate sponsors of a $300 million luxury hall project.

The 'Late Night' Host

During Thursday's broadcast of his show, the comedian voiced shock over the administration's initiative to construct a opulent ballroom. “It would be bad enough if his biggest priority was just creating a gilded vanity project for himself, but it’s so much worse,” he stated. “Because to accomplish it, he’s tearing down a historically significant and beloved piece of property.”

The structure in question is the entire East Wing of the presidential residence, which has existed for more than a century. “He’s tearing down the entire East Wing to build his unnecessary ballroom. I mean, look at this,” Meyers exclaimed. “This is like a sequel to Fixer Upper called a disastrous remake.”

Unsurprisingly, the president misled about the initiative.” Initially, he promised no destruction and claimed it would not affect the current building” because it would be “adjacent without contact”.

“So he basically promised to handle it similarly to his personal relationships,” Meyers joked.

Trump said the design evolved “after really a tremendous amount of study with some of the best architects in the world”.

Is that so? Who was the architect you talked to, a fictional monster?” Meyers joked.

Outrage has been swift, if ineffective. A historic conservation group sent a letter the president stating that the addition would overwhelm the current residence and asked him to halt work until a review could occur. Firstly, I fully support with the National Trust for Historic Preservation,” said Meyers. “And two, best wishes with that appeal.”

“This couldn’t be any more of a bait and switch,” he continued. “He won the election by promising he was going to make life more affordable for everyday citizens, and now he’s demolishing the White House to build himself a lavish personal venue.”

Stephen Colbert

By today the East Wing looked like a cooked poultry damaged by a pet,” remarked the host on the Late Show. “That is very upsetting to look at, I understand that, and the government is aware,” since on Thursday, the Secret Service closed access to the Ellipse park where reporters were photographing the destruction process.

“Well that makes sense – if none of it is on camera, they can just claim the East Wing met an unfortunate end,” Colbert joked.

He highlighted that it was “a lot of history being torn down”, as that section was constructed over a century ago and had been the base for first ladies since the Carter administration. “Actually, the former first lady was in the East Wing, and I certainly hope they got her out because she’s frequently confused with a decorative lighting fixture,” Colbert joked over an image of her more non-traditional outfits.

Trump has funded the “ball-doggle” with money from “groveling corporations” including Amazon, Apple, Comcast, Google, Microsoft, T-Mobile, Meta Platforms and Hard Rock International. “And Trump needs all the cash he can get,” said Colbert, as the projected expense has already increased from an initial $250m to over $300m, for a 90,000 sq-ft building, larger than the current residence itself. “That’s about the same size as a sports pitch,” Colbert noted. “So keep in mind, corporations, as you bribe the president: play fair.”

The Daily Show

And on the Daily Show, Michael Kosta detailed the swift evolution of the initiative from proposal to execution. “Initially, he promised that it would be distinct from the existing White House and he wouldn’t touch the eastern section. That this construction would strictly be over the pants,” he summarized.

“Recently, there was a minor adjustment when Trump ripped open the eastern facade like it had a collectible toy inside.”

Within days, the entire East Wing was gone. “This is all happening so fast,” he said. “This guy’s been taking over a decade to give us a medical reform, but in 3.5 days he’s demolished half the White House. The president, assure us this will be aesthetically pleasing …”

Not quite – according to Trump’s own scale model presented in the Oval Office, the new hall will overshadow the current White House. “It resembles one of those crabs with the big arms, right?” Kosta chuckled. “I mean, I don’t know a lot about architecture. But I do know a thing or two about exaggerated displays.”