Late-Night Hosts Take Aim At Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Residency Program

Television's leading hosts spent their airtime ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's newly launched visa initiative, called the "golden visa," describing it as a blatant pay-for-access scheme for the wealthy.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Take

Kicking off his program, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic Christmas tune targeting the president. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... destroys all he handles."

Colbert's target was the new initiative which enables international citizens to buy U.S. residency for the price of one million dollars, or "platinum" tier for $5 million. The program's portal guarantees approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief message here to affluent applicants: before you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He explained that the card is also intended to "extract cash" from firms looking to hire skilled workers, with large costs. "That is a lot of fees, though if you sign up, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your choosing – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"Unprecedented background check the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"It's a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"Maybe it's time to revise that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel teased the brevity of the application, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"That's right, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Issues

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's plunging poll numbers amid economic worries. "People gave Donald Trump a another term since they were angry about the economy," he said.

This week, in a bid to address cost of living, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a array of food items, where he reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so fucking weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by mocking conservative news coverage of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he laughed.