You can’t imagine it, Jessie J remarks. There she was gearing up for her first album release in nearly a decade, deeply enamored with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the mom to a little one after struggling to conceive for ten years, feeling invincible. Then in spring she was found to have breast cancer.
The singer-songwriter, actual name Jessica Cornish, is famous for speaking her mind. The LP, the provocatively titled album, was meant as an transparent story, addressing every moment of pain she’d experienced since she last recorded music (endometriosis, miscarriage, broken romances, gaslighting, mental health struggles) with her usual frankness. The first single, her single No Secrets, was launched in the spring. But by then there remained a major undisclosed truth. The cancer. Later follow-up track, her song Living My Best Life, came out in late spring and Cornish was speaking publicly about how she was living her best life, while at the same time living with her cancer. A month later she shared the news, and in early July she received surgical treatment.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” expression. “I come out with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every press talk, and they’re, like, ‘What’s happening?’ and I answer, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” the singer has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s still waiting for reconstructive surgery.
We meet at a photo studio in the capital. She is sporting a tan faux-leather coat, blue jeans with detailed white appliqués, cream boots and large glasses. Picture motorcycle style meets vintage look. “I feel like I’m in the 1970s and I should have a partner with a mustache.” Easy Rider, I say, thinking of the film. “I was nicknamed that in school!” She smiles. Cornish is fast-thinking, bold and direct. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is hoping to make her initial standup show in the coming year. “I enjoy humor. On stage I often tease the fans.”
Medical Challenges and Discovery
Cornish was preparing for an appearance at the awards show when she found a lump. “I immediately went to get it looked at, had an ultrasound, and they were, like, ‘It appears fine; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I responded, ‘However, it’s there. My arm hurts and numbness in my fingers whenever I wake up.’ And they said, ‘How about a biopsy?’ That was 28 March, the day after my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The specialist told her if it was bad news she’d call on the start of the week. By then the singer had convinced herself it was nothing. The way she tells it, it was simply too inconvenient to receive a diagnosis when she had a busy schedule.
“Just two weeks before from launching this thing after a long hiatus and no new music. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I thought, ‘A video call, likely minor.’ So I join the call expecting it’s all going to be fine, and she informs me, ‘Please take a seat.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she says, ‘I regret to inform you but your reports have indicated aggressive cancer.’” How did you respond? “I said, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. That’s not fucking great timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘My child depends on me.’”
Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am
She viewed the procedure terrifying and absurd. “I dislike anesthesia. You’re escorted. In urgent cases you go on a gurney, but now I just walked with a hospital gown and my rear exposed. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, Cornish says, she’s been fortunate. Without chemo or radio, just the surgery. “It’s terrible, but you know what? Thank fuck I found it early. The surgery happened recently and my right breast now resembles a fruit under fabric.” She smiles again. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The subsequent surgery is both medical and cosmetic. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “asymmetrical. The size doesn’t match. So inconsiderate! I reflected, why make it worse, I’m already having a difficult experience. Such disrespect! It’s funny because I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be perfect. Cancer ruined that plan.”
Previous Struggles
The singer is familiar with health problems. She thinks her outlook on her diagnosis has been so optimistic because she’s used to health crises. They have often coincided with peak moments, functioning as a wake-up call, or shock, to make her recall not to take anything for granted. “Honestly, I feel fate says, ‘Enjoying yourself? Hold on.’ From a young age, it has often paired with achievements for me; a serious or unusual issue has happened to my health.”
She takes me back to her youth, already making her debut performing in the stage in a musical (she was selected at the age of nine). That’s when she was told about the heart condition Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as dizziness and palpitations. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an intravenous line, and going back into hospital at night.” She skips forward several years, and young Jessica has joined the trio the group while studying at the performing arts school. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a stroke. Then when I was ready to debut in recently I had a collision and my throat was injured and I lost my voice for a year.”
Hey, I say, slow down, I can’t keep up. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
