From ‘Mood Hoovers’ - Uncover the Reasons Negative Friends Are Good You Personally
Myself crave insights from people on dealing with midlife challenges, such as philosophical reflections, fading relevance, noticing one’s neck resembling a melted timepiece and a newfound passion regarding sunny relocation programs. Lately, I read the chef’s comments regarding his fiftieth birthday in an interview: “To thrive in life’s later stages, you must cut out distractions,” he explained. “Just be with lovely people. I’m avoiding negative people – ‘mood hoovers’ – and getting better at saying no.”
My first thought was: doesn’t this conflict between “avoiding negative people” and “getting better at saying no”? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. However, among our group, we favor the term “energy drainer”. Refrain from using “downer” or “spoil-sport” – these comparisons to everyday gear are insulting; we possess sentiments (though often pessimistic). If forced, I’d agree to “gloomy soft cover”.
Perhaps you’re one too. Are you less the life and soul of the party and more its accountant or undertaker? Does your detailed response to “How are you?” have your interlocutor edging away uncomfortably? Do you greet “fun” activity suggestions with an expression that makes you look like you’ve swallowed a slug? Can you relate deeply to pessimistic characters; has an intuitive ever described your energy as dull?
If so, you’re one of us, but it’s OK. Although modern wisdom pushes folks to discard “sapping” companions, I contend we bring substantial worth. I reckon a mood hoover would have said something discouraging – or at least made a slug-swallowing face – when Jamie described his plan to write a kids’ book with an Australian First Nation main character without consulting Indigenous communities, which could have prevented a whole lot of problems, upset and offence. That level of honest feedback is rare among “upbeat” individuals.
